Selective Mutism

This is a rare personal post, not connected to my books.

If you’re in the UK and you have 50 minutes to spare, can I ask you to consider watching ‘My Child Won’t Speak‘, a documentary which aired last night on BBC1. You can watch it on the BBC iPlayer here.

Selective Mutism (SM) is a strange, often bewildering condition which can have dramatic, long-term and very damaging effects on both the child who suffers from SM and their families. It’s thought to affect around 6 in every 1000 children. Put most simply, it’s an anxiety – it could even be described as a fear or a phobia – of talking in certain situations. A child who is affected may talk freely and normally to the members of their immediate family at home but if they are anywhere else or with anyone else, they probably won’t speak. Not a single word. At a very early age, SM can be little more than an inconvenience and a frustration. But, as the child grows and has to take an increasingly active role in society, their inability to communicate can become more and more of an issue and it can have devastating consequences.

Children who suffer from SM can often be ignored and excluded or written off as being difficult.People who don’t know about SM or who don’t understand the condition might try and force them to speak, or occasionally threaten to punish them if they don’t communicate. Sometimes, SM children are overlooked and undervalued because they’re not disruptive – put simply, they’re quiet and they don’t cause any real problems, so they’re prone to be forgotten about.

The causes of SM vary from child to child, and with the right support and therapies, children often learn to overcome their anxieties and talk in public before the age of 10.

So why am I telling you all of this? Because it’s something that really matters to me. It’s a subject very close to my heart. My youngest daughter stopped speaking when she was 3, and she’s only just reached the stage where she’s finally able to talk to her teachers and other people outside of the immediate family. She’s 9 and a half. More than 6 years of silence.

My daughter was incredibly fortunate. As a family we received a huge amount of support and help, particularly from her school. But we’ve heard about many other children who haven’t been so lucky. So I hope you don’t mind me using this outlet to try and raise awareness of Selective Mutism. Please watch the TV programme if you can and, if you want more information, contact SMIRA – the Selective Mutism Information & Research Association (www.selectivemutism.co.uk).

If you or anyone close to you has been affected by SM and you’d like to talk about your experiences, please don’t hesitate to get in touch.

Thanks for your time.

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